Kidwise-Arguing in Front of Your Kids? Think Again!

Parents strive endlessly to provide their kids with the best education, lifestyle and facilities. They leave no stone unturned to ensure that their abode is a safe and warm place for their physical, mental and emotional growth. However, personal and professional challenges can make tempers flare and lead to acrimonious fights between adults. Even the presence of kids isn’t a deterrent at times.

With this behaviour do we, without realising it, leave scars on the minds of the very kids we’re trying to nurture and protect? Kids have their first relationship with their parents and family and every early experience with them leaves a lasting impression. Their mind is like a sponge and they absorb everything, even negativity. How would they feel if they see their elders and parents abuse each other verbally, emotionally or worse, physically?

No matter what the trigger, it cannot be an excuse for fighting in front of kids. Here are few reasons why you should hold your guns and your tongue when you’re about to lash out with them watching.

Verbal abuse makes them lose respect

Don’t use bad language, be polite, always be respectful towards elders are some of the things we teach our kids since a young age. Imagine their surprise when they see filthy words, expressions being used and/or screaming on top of your voices taking place with complete disregard to the time, place or company. Family discord, especially if you’re in a joint family, affects kids badly. You cannot expect them to respect you after they’ve observed a disrespectful side of you, can you? It is also possible that they might replicate this behaviour elsewhere and demonstrate the bad example you’re setting for them. Fight if you have to but not where they can see or hear you.

Emotional abuse instils a feeling of insecurity
A marriage can bring loads of emotional turmoil for reasons ranging from inharmonious interpersonal relationships, work pressure, equation with in-laws, parenting decisions, etc. This may often lead to arguments which may have either partner crying, breaking down or slipping into depression while the other carries on with his life. Also, our patriarchal society makes women prone to emotional abuse on an everyday basis.
These negative emotions boil down to kids faster than you can imagine. Seeing the ones they look up to for support squabble endlessly can make them feel insecure about their future. This can result in stunted development, loss of trust and internalising their emotions. Evidently, none of these can be good for them.

Physical abuse induces fear

Domestic violence is one of the worst things a kid can witness at home. It not only crosses all boundaries of civilised human behaviour but is also a punishable crime. Dowry harassment, alcohol addiction, jealousy, suspicion, anger management issues etc are just some of the grounds on which physical abuse is based.

This kind of sadistic behaviour affects not only the victim but everyone else around him/her too. Manhandling, battery or even a slap can be scary for kids. How safe would kids feel in such a home? They’re young and helpless with neither the courage nor the resources to protect themselves. This can have an adverse impact on their minds with them either getting pushed into isolation due to fear or using violence as a defence mechanism.

Life isn’t easy and we all have different battles to fight. Innocent kids are unaware of the struggles we face to make life easy for them. Parents and family is their window to the world and they learn and emulate what they see from them. It would hence be we wise to make them feel loved, secured and protected and look forward to stepping into a world that isn’t filled with disputes, abuse and hurt.

About Varsha Bagadia

Varsha Bagadia is your regular harried mother of two who’s also a blogger, editor, freelance content writer, Potterhead and a fitness freak, all rolled into one!
In some seemingly other life she was a Mechanical engineer and Finance post-graduate and has work experience in banking and software. She’s now a passionate food, parenting and lifestyle blogger. You can check out her take on fiction, food, travel, relationships, etc and reviews on her blog.

1 Comment
  1. Shreya Birthare 3 years ago

    Every point is so insightful and true. Parents fighting in front of the child can leave a bad example and even make the child lose trust in relationships and institution of marriage when they grow up. The onus of making sure this doesn’t happen lies on the shoulders of parents.

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