During my morning walks, I would see a young girl often crying on her way to school. I couldn’t find out the exact reason except that she didn’t want to go to school. I am sure the parents were doing what was best for their child. Yet, I couldn’t help but empathise with their dilemma. It must be such a difficult situation for parents when children refuse to attend school and even more so when they wouldn’t tell why.

Reasons for Refusal

Older children voice the reason if they want to but it can get tricky to understand with younger children. Here are some reasons why your children might throw a tantrum for avoiding the school:

  • Separation Anxiety: Your children might be starting school for the first time or resuming after a break or vacation.
  • Fear: Your children may be scared of a particular teacher or classmate. Your child could be victim of bullying, shaming or sexual harassment.
  • Tragic Event: If your children have witnessed a death, divorce, severe illness or any traumatic event, it could lead to school refusal.
  • Academic Pressure: The expectations of parents or teachers or peer pressure to excel at academics can keep them away from school.
  • New Changes: If your children have transitioned to a new school or their favourite teacher or best friend has left the school, they may want to stay at home.

Parenting Strategies

  • Find out the Problem: Don’t make assumptions and force your children to go to school. Ask them if there is any reason why they are skipping the school often. If they are unable to tell you out of fear or embarrassment, ask them a few random questions about their day in the school. Their responses may give you an idea about what’s wrong. Listen to them without any judgement. You may also talk to your children’s friends, classmates or teachers.
  • Address the Problem: Once you find out the reason your children refuse to go to school, solve it with a calm mind. For example, if your children are afraid of their teacher, it is advisable to understand whether it is a reasonable or generic claim. Document the instances where your children have feared the teacher. You can then request a meeting with that teacher and explain the situation. If the child-teacher relationship doesn’t improve and your child shows serious signs of panic before going to school, you might want to talk to the senior management about a change of classroom.
  • Be Gentle Yet Firm: While it is understandable that your children don’t want to go to school for a genuine reason, it can’t continue for long. You have to give them a clear and consistent message albeit lovingly that you are there to support them but they can’t keep avoiding the school. Work out an approach they will feel comfortable with. For example, you can drop or pick them up from school for a few days. You can request the teacher to help your child gain confidence in coming to school or increase their interaction with classmates.

Conclusion

Don’t ignore or overreact when your children refuse to go to school. Take a problem-solving approach, children’s mindset and school’s support to address the issue.

 

About Smita Omar

Smita is an ex banker who voluntary said adiós to a high flying career to explore the rocky yet beautiful terrain of motherhood. When she is not busy juggling between her naughty daughter and foodie husband, you can find her donning the hat of a freelance content developer-editor to keep her sanity intact. She has been a Work-From-Home-Mother for 8 years and turns to meditation when the going gets tough.

Report
0 Comments

Leave a reply

©2024 Kidwise . All trademarks used on this website are the property of their respective owners.

 

Register or Login

or

Register | Login

with your email ID

By registering you are agreeing with the Terms of Use and the Privacy Policy.

 

Is your child 21st Century ready?

21st century skills for kids

Introduce your kids to 21st Century skills & other exciting hobbies.

Book FREE DEMO CLASSES to help them discover their interests & expand their horizons!


Book Now

 

 

Here are some sample reviews from parents, to help you to share your own experiences:

Best classes for mathematics in Erandwane/Kothrud area. Limited kids per batch and give personal attention. We had a very good experience. My daughter is happy with teaching by ***** teacher.


Very engaging and fun filled sessions for the kids .My 8 year old throughly enjoyed all the sessions. Kids get a platform to express their views on various topics. Suggestion is to make this workshop extended from 1 month to 2 months or more.


My child has made excellent growth. The teacher gives attention to every child adequately and my child is very eager to attend the classes. And the teacher also has excellent skills in art.


We have seen ***** school growing from a pretty new school to a developed school in last four years. They focus lot on academics, extra curricular  actives and lot more.  They embed a lot of fun activities with academics which makes kids picks the basics as well as advance topics pretty well.  Teachers are attentive and they provide a very elaborated feedback about the child on quarterly basis. In short it's fairly a good option for kids for their overall growth.


Highly mismanaged branch of *****. Poor planning. No proper communication with parents. Teacher retention is very low. Good teachers gets transferred to other centres. In past 3-4 years 3 principal changed. Everything they do is for name sake. Workshops/ seminars are more of a sales  pitches. 10% return of value for your money.