My friend is a mother to a 13-year-old daughter and a 15-year-old son. She often talks to me about her trials and tribulations of parenting two teens at home. She told me that it took her considerable time to adjust to the teenage years of both her children and realize that they are no longer little human beings who will obey or listen to their parents at every step. Teenagers have their own expectations from their parents.
If you are going through a similar phase with your teens, the following tips should help you to parent them appropriately:
- Acknowledge Their Age
You must realize that your teen is neither a young kid nor an adult. They don’t want to be treated like a child but they also don’t possess the maturity of adults. No doubt, it is one of the most difficult ages of their development and you must acknowledge their struggles.
- Give Them Autonomy
While you want the best for your children and feel that you can make the best decisions for their life, your teen may not feel so. At their age, independence and non-interference are quite important for them. So, let them make suggestions and choices. You can guide them through the good and bad of various options and help them make an informed decision.
- Give Them Privacy
Don’t be surprised if your teen suddenly demands a separate room, wants you to knock on their room’s door before entering or gets angry if you check their phone or bag. This simply means that your teens now expect you to give them privacy and personal space. This is also the age when they prefer more solitude and want to spend more time with friends. By giving them their share of privacy, you are giving a message that you trust them.
- Respect Them
While your child has become a teenager, they are still a kid in your mind. It might come naturally to you to give them instructions or occasionally scold them for their well-being. However, your teen may not like it, especially if you do it in front of outsiders. They may feel that you are belittling them. Hence, make sure you respect them in your words, actions and decisions.
Remember that every age of your children will bring its own challenges. There is no manual for it, but you will learn along the way with the help of your own judgement, fellow parents and parenting resources. What matters is that you don’t be hard on yourself and let your parenting instinct guide you.
